When I think of a woman’s self-worth, I feel it relates to how much she values herself and what she thinks she deserves out of life. Women tend to struggle with self-worth more so than men.
Self-worth is the root cause of so many outcomes in life – how she communicates, how she enters into and interacts with relationships, what she teaches her daughter, what she requires from others, how she treats herself and allows others to treat her.
Self-worth can be a tricky thing to pin point because sometimes it can be confused with outward showing of confidence, self-importance or other external gestures. However, self-worth is something that dwells in the subconscious and is often formulated as a child.
Women are encouraged to be self-less, go without, be quiet, not advocate for themselves, settle, make due and other actions that disconnect her from her from herself. While she may or may not directly hear “you’re worthless” she interprets the self-deprecation as a result of her not being worth much
Identifying if your self-worth could use some improvement and TLC
Getting Paid – If you have a job, do you have a hard time asking for a raise you know you deserve? If you work for yourself, do you constantly undercharge for your products or services? Do you have a hard time asking for compensation, resources and money that you earned or are owed?
Boundaries – Do you have a hard time telling people no? Do you have a hard time communicating clear lines of what is acceptable and unacceptable with being in your life? Are you afraid of upsetting others by communicating your truth?
Clear Communication – Do you speak straight words? Do you speak directly to the point, or do you dance around what you really want to say? Do you allow people to talk over you and miss your opportunity to speak your mind?
Self-care – Do you constantly postpone self-care in favor of activities that benefit others? Do you feel guilty, selfish or ashamed of doing something special for yourself? Do you have a hard time spending money that you’ve pre-budgeted on specialty items or services for yourself? Do you have a chronic illness or health issue that is steadily getting worse but you continue to ignore it?
Accepting Praise – Do you constantly downplay and deflect complements and praises? When people speak positively about you, do you minimize your accomplishments? Do you feel uncomfortable inside when someone speaks highly of you? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?
If you answered yes to several of the questions above, your self-confidence could use a boost. No need to fret. You can totally boost it. I find that it’s a woman’s life journey to feel good in her skin, value herself highly and feel totally worthy of a fulfilling, abundant and soulful life.
Quantify Your Contributions – Tally up all the contributions you make to the world. Think about all the deals you’ve helped close at work. Think about their value. Think about how you are contributing to the lives of your clients or customers. Think about what it means to do the things you do for your family and friends. Once you really start to list things out, you’ll realize how valuable and priceless your unique contribution is to this world.
Say Thank You – Practice receiving compliments. When someone says something nice about you, simply say “thank you.” Don’t say, “oh, this? It came of the clearance rack.” Or, “Oh, these cookies. I just got the pre-made doe and threw it in the oven, it was nothing.”
Seriously. Don’t minimize your accomplishments. Receiving compliments honors the person giving the compliment. Receiving the compliment lifts your vibration and increases your acceptance of that fact that you are worthy of praise.
Discover Your Happy Place – Decide what you really need to be happy in life. Is it occasional vacations? Is it living near family? Is it living in a warm climate? Is it working from home? Is it fresh foods daily? You know deep down inside what you need to be your best self. When you honor those needs, you are honoring the fact that you are worthy of a fulfilling life. When you deny yourself happiness, you are telling yourself that you are not worthy. But, you are worthy. I affirm it now in this moment.
Focus on Your Strengths – Dwell on the things that you rock at. Hyper focus on what others admire about you. Laser in on what you do well and effortlessly. Whatever you focus on will expand. This is like a muscle.
I’m stuck. I’m still not feeling worthy.
If you find yourself feeling unworthy of love and a fulfilling life, ponder or journal about these open ended questions. The road will lead to boosting your self-worth.
Here are some affirmation to help you improve your self-worth.
Self-care is healthcare.
Do something nice for yourself. Work your way to doing several nice things a day. And you can start with doing one nice thing a week. While you’re doing the nice thing, say an affirmation.
Paint your toes. “Wow, my toes look amazing. I deserve to sparkle from head to toe. I am deserving of pampering and care.
Buy some flowers. “Wow, these flowers are beautiful. I like coming home to see beautiful things. I deserve these flowers and so much more because looking at beautiful things make me happy. I deserve happiness.”
Dance in your pajamas. “Yay, this feels good. I’m free to move around the way I want. I don’t’ have to perfect for anyone. I can be silly, free and expressive. Dancing brings me joy and health. I deserve joy and health.”
Eat a healthy meal. “Ahhh. I’m so glad I chose to prepare this meal. These vegetable taste wonderful. I deserve the finest nourishment. My body is awesome. I love to pamper myself from the inside out."
I hope you’re feeling inspired to reflect on your self-worth and ways you can improve it.
Light and love.
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Sis. Freya is the creator of RootMama. She loves encouraging women to achieve greatness.
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