Congratulations, Angela Simmons!
One of my Spiritual Mothers, Shafia Monroe, made it painfully obvious to me how scrutinized and demonized Black mothers are – especially when society doesn’t deem her pregnancy as “legitimate.” She taught me that one of the comments Black mothers fail to hear when they become pregnant is a simple "congratulations."
Society directs a lot of negative energy towards Black women – especially Black mothers. People automatically assume the worse regarding Black women’s pregnancy. Her husband is referred to as a “baby daddy.” Her life partner is referred to as a “boyfriend.” If she is not with the father of her unborn child, she’s considered a "statistic" and “another sad single mother,” who is doomed to have a child in prison.
The Black Mother receives more scrutiny than any other mother in this country. Angela Simmons is a good example of this. While the community should be celebrating the miracle of pregnancy and upcoming birth, she is instead met with harsh judgement, assumptions and criticism on social media and the internet.
Instead of lifting her up with words of affirmation and support, she and her unborn child have suffered all kinds of verbal attacks.
Angela Simmons, daughter of hip hop pioneer Rev Run of Run DMC, has grown up before the world on reality t.v. She is most noted for her professions of modesty and waiting for sex until marriage. In the age of ratchet miley cyrus, and talentless personalities like kim kardashian who promote perverted sexuality and the commodification of the female body, Angela’s modest views on sexuality should be celebrated and promoted. She has carried herself in a very dignified manner over the years and has been a great role model for young girls to look up to.
Unfortunately, the tabloids did not allow Angela to announce her pregnancy in a way and at a time of her choosing. They harassed her in the airport about her pregnancy on camera.
It’s nobody’s business who Angela Simmons chooses to sleep with, when, how and any resulting pregnancy. When and only when Angela chooses herself to announce her pregnancy to the world, should anything be said about her pregnancy. Now that Angela has announced her pregnancy, she’s getting railroaded and called a hypocrite. She’s being accused of sleeping with a man before marriage – something she did say she was against.
The timeline of pregnancy vs marriage in Angela’s case really doesn’t matter. What is most important is that she has chosen to birth an African child. She chose an African man and genuinely seems to be striving for a healthy family. Building a family is challenging. Being a wife and mother is a huge learning curve.
Angela needs positive affirmation and support from the Black community. It’s a given that the traditional media and mainstream society will continue to attack Black motherhood. We can look at the case of two wild animal attacks on small children. A Black child gets passed a poorly barricaded gorilla exhibit. His mother and father are put on trial by white America in the media. A white child gets passed a barricade at a Disney park and is killed by an alligator. His family receives love and support from white America. That’s the nature of this country.
However, we as a Black community owe it to each other to celebrate every Black child, no matter the circumstances of the mother. We can affirm each other. We can validate each other. We need not look for validation or acceptance from others. We should fiercely defend any attack on the Black mother and child dyad from any outside entity, period. Come for our babies? We coming for you! Period.
What I want all unborn Black children to know… And what I want all expecting Black mothers to know is – you made the right choice to bring this baby into the world. Whatever your circumstances are – we got you. We love and adore you. We want to be here for you. We want to do whatever we can to strengthen your Black family.
Angela, I’m so proud of you. You’re a beautiful mother-to-be. The RootMama village is here to support you always.
PS - If you feel inspired, leave a comment of support for Angela here. Let's send her some positive vibes.
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Sis. Freya is the creator of RootMama. She loves encouraging women to achieve greatness.
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